For the past couple of weeks I've been living Pasadena helping to train the teachers who will be going to Turkey in September. It takes a lot of time and I need to make more time for my devotions. This morning I was reading in the book of Exodus a bit. Now when I say reading what I actually mean is skimming through really quickly while thinking about the lesson I'm supposed to teach tomorrow. It's been fairly frustrating reading parts of the Old Testament that don't speak to me. Lately I've realized that I'm just not happy with my relationship with God. If I was honest, and I'm going to be honest, I would say that I wish God would speak more clearly on a regular basis. Unfortunately for me each time I open the bible doesn't promise a powerfully divine revelation. Most often I read and a verse may stick out and be encouraging or convicting, but not so regularly do I recognize it as God speaking to me personally. When I read parts of the Law it can be seriously boring because I don't know how the instructions and exact cubits of building are applicable to God's story now. Today's reading included a chapter in Exodus that talked about all the requirements the priests were to do to give their "wave offering" by flapping some pita bread in the air before burning it.
No interest. Continuing with the honesty I'll admit that not only do I not get how this ritual applies to me today but I can't imagine living in this time and being required to offer a sacrifice by fanning the air with some flatbread only to then light it on fire with a lamb's entrails--which is supposed to be a pleasing aroma. Still confused and thinking about the day ahead. Upon reading Exodus 29:44 though I paused. "I will also consecrate Aaron and his sons to minister as priests to Me." Immediately I thought about my name replacing Moses' brother's; God will consecrate Nate to be a minister of the Gospel. I wrote it in my journal as a prayer. It crossed my mind to write the sentence as it says, "and his sons" but since I'm still single I didn't. As much as I want to have sons who are also messengers of Christ, I don't want to have a false hope that God has promised me a family. So I noted the verse in my journal and continued my morning reading.
As the day went on I reluctantly had to drive to an informational meeting in Orange County. While en route I called my mom who is taking care of her dying father in Chicago. She began to update me about all the health concerns both of my grandparents are currently facing. We know that they don't have much more time. Then she shared with me one of the tender moments she got to have with her dad. He had called her over to his bedside asking her to retrieve his jewelry box. When my grandfather's grandparents married in 1880 my great-great-grandmother gave her new husband a gift. The new precious jewelry was then passed to my grandfather because he was the only Baptist son in the family. I chuckled about him inheriting it due to his religion. But my grandpa told my mom he wanted to give it to my dad, his son-in-law, as my dad is a Baptist minister in the Army. In turn my dad said he will likely give them to me one day. I was excited, honored, and humbled. The meeting that I was driving to was to find out more about seminary and the reason I didn't want to go to it was because I question how qualified I am for ministry this intense.
When I remembered the verse that I wrote down this morning and thought of the family heirloom being passed from one generation of ministers to the next God gave me the assurance to take the next step. I don't know what the Lord would have for me in the future. At this point I'm still trying to find a job that will allow me to be actively involved at ROCKHARBOR on a regular basis. I'm also trying to seek out more artistic endeavors which I greatly missed while living in Istanbul. There's a lot that I'm sorting through but I am going to keep stepping into wherever God is leading because I'm confident that if it's from him then he'll provide further direction and means.
No interest. Continuing with the honesty I'll admit that not only do I not get how this ritual applies to me today but I can't imagine living in this time and being required to offer a sacrifice by fanning the air with some flatbread only to then light it on fire with a lamb's entrails--which is supposed to be a pleasing aroma. Still confused and thinking about the day ahead. Upon reading Exodus 29:44 though I paused. "I will also consecrate Aaron and his sons to minister as priests to Me." Immediately I thought about my name replacing Moses' brother's; God will consecrate Nate to be a minister of the Gospel. I wrote it in my journal as a prayer. It crossed my mind to write the sentence as it says, "and his sons" but since I'm still single I didn't. As much as I want to have sons who are also messengers of Christ, I don't want to have a false hope that God has promised me a family. So I noted the verse in my journal and continued my morning reading.
As the day went on I reluctantly had to drive to an informational meeting in Orange County. While en route I called my mom who is taking care of her dying father in Chicago. She began to update me about all the health concerns both of my grandparents are currently facing. We know that they don't have much more time. Then she shared with me one of the tender moments she got to have with her dad. He had called her over to his bedside asking her to retrieve his jewelry box. When my grandfather's grandparents married in 1880 my great-great-grandmother gave her new husband a gift. The new precious jewelry was then passed to my grandfather because he was the only Baptist son in the family. I chuckled about him inheriting it due to his religion. But my grandpa told my mom he wanted to give it to my dad, his son-in-law, as my dad is a Baptist minister in the Army. In turn my dad said he will likely give them to me one day. I was excited, honored, and humbled. The meeting that I was driving to was to find out more about seminary and the reason I didn't want to go to it was because I question how qualified I am for ministry this intense.
When I remembered the verse that I wrote down this morning and thought of the family heirloom being passed from one generation of ministers to the next God gave me the assurance to take the next step. I don't know what the Lord would have for me in the future. At this point I'm still trying to find a job that will allow me to be actively involved at ROCKHARBOR on a regular basis. I'm also trying to seek out more artistic endeavors which I greatly missed while living in Istanbul. There's a lot that I'm sorting through but I am going to keep stepping into wherever God is leading because I'm confident that if it's from him then he'll provide further direction and means.
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