Wednesday, October 15, 2014

Uganda Reflections: Joseph's Story

Normally we would wake up shortly after sunrise, a cloudy and wet air still settled on the grass outside our hotel door before rising into the Ugandan sky once the sun grew stronger. The occasional thunderstorm kept me awake in the earlier morning hours while it was still dark before dawn approached. At least, I would try to stay awake and listening to the booming thunder rolling in the distance--not a familiar sound I hear back home in Southern California. By the time we made it to breakfast the sun was already up; our group was happy to have the extra hour of sleep and rest. We mixed our instant Africafe or sipped hot African milk tea while eating the traditional potato and bean breakfast provided by our lodging. 

Just down the road was the hospital we'd be visiting. I'd unknowingly ran past it on a morning jog a few days before, the wet red earth splashing up on my calves and staining my green Nikes. Our two Japanese tour busses must have been older than I, likely given to people in the north Ugandan village after the end of their civil war. The security gate at the hospital opened for us and we parked directly in front of the ER. As we got off the bus I immediately noticed a girl with short hair, like many of the poor men and women of the area, with a large gaping hole in her forearm and elbow. It was covered in a white substance, a medicine of sorts. Others sat in front of the run down hospital that was simple, a one-level cement building with square cutouts for doorways and windows beneath a tin roof. After gathering the supplies we had brought we split up into many smaller groups, a mix of Christians from California and our Ugandan brothers. 

My buddy and I were paired with another twenty-something local guy from the church we were working with down the road. Upon walking into the men's surgical ward we saw about two dozen beds, some mattresses were empty but most were decorated with various bedsheets that each patient had provided in order to be granted permission to stay in the ward. It was immediately overwhelming as all we brought was a banana, some grain, and sugar. In addition to the hospital not providing bedding for the patients, food is scarce, and receiving treatment from a doctor is hard to come by. The twenty or so men each rely on family to bring them what they need as they await their need surgery. A despondent sixteen year old boy greeted me with sunken eyes as he turned to see us, his shoulder blades were reaching out of his back like wings and his frail legs dangling off the edge of his bed. He had a gastrointestinal issue which kept him from eating; he was dangerously malnourished. We talked with him as we did the other patients, passing out the few supplies we had, taking time to pray and encourage them. 

I so badly wanted God to do a miracle. The poorest hospital in the city was understaffed, the doctor employed there was overworked, and the patients themselves could only receive treatment in which they could directly pay for. When we came to Joseph's bed he immediately sat himself up some. With his left arm held closely to his body, he smiled kindly and welcomed us. He told us about how he broke his arm and needed surgery, but he'd been in the hospital waiting for ten weeks for the operation. His condition was not high enough on the necessity list and his surgery was continuously delayed as patients with more urgent needs were treated. We told him that we had come to bless him with a little bag of food, that we were friends of a local church, and we asked to pray for him. Joseph said that he had seen us going about the ward and anticipated us praying for him more than he wanted the food in the bag we were passing out. 

As we began to pray in faith we continued to invite God to speak and to heal. Laying hands on the man he nodded in agreement as we came before our Father seeking his healing tough. We prayed and waited, listened and declared truth. After several minutes passed I began to get frustrated. We kept asking that God would reveal more of himself, his truth, and make himself known to Joseph in that moment. We continued to ask for healing. When a particular picture came to my mind I didn't know what to make of it. I explained to Joseph that we believe sometimes God gives us pictures, I told him what I saw in my mind, it was simple really, but I had no interpretation for it. Joseph asked me to repeat myself. Again I explained what I saw in my mind's eye and asked him if it meant anything to him. Once more he asked me to tell him what I saw. After the third time he spoke softly, telling us that he knew exactly what it meant. 

He continued to confess to us his brokenness and how the picture spoke directly to that. He admitted that he needed to trust God again but that he'd been pulled in many other directions. We led him in a prayer of repentance, and we all prayed together celebrating the goodness of God. I am still amazed that God would speak to us, a couple of Westerners, to bring the love of Christ to a man we'd never met, stuck in a hospital bed in the middle of Africa. Even as we left his bedside to go pray for the next man I began wrestling with the disappointment that Joseph wasn't physically healed while we simultaneously were celebrating that God met with him uniquely, calling him back to follow Jesus. 

Monday, February 17, 2014

Missionally Minded

I don’t actually enjoy being late, despite it’s frequency in my life. On this cool cloudy evening as I lay on my bed, my nose stuffed and running at the same time, eyes shut, and feet underneath the quilt while I waited for sleep to settle in. As I heard the clicking of shoes around the house my body abruptly returned from that cloudy near-dream space to reality. I decided to make the most of the time and get off my bed before I missed church. Declining any ice cubes in my hot peppermint tea (because what’s the point) I found a seat near my usual spot just during the last song. Then our missions pastor got up, brought up a missionary from South Africa who spoke for a bit, and our teaching pastor then followed. We open to Psalm 96 and I immediately found my green pen to begin circling the mentions of “all nations” throughout the chapter. Mission. We going to talk about mission, something that I’ve been passionately excited about for years. Then I remembered back to my personal time with God today. I had read Matthew 28 and Romans 15 which are each text about missions, The Great Commission and ministry to all peoples as quoted in the Old Testament, respectively. Maybe God would use tonight to call me to Spain tonight or give me new vision for what country I will move to next! To be fair, in reading Romans 15 Paul says that he’s going to stop in Spain while on his missional tour through the Mediterranean. Always forgetting that passage mentions Spain I’m usually trying to read into it having some magical meaning opposed to it’s original intent. But we were talking about mission so I told my buddy next to me, and Jesus, that I was down to hear whatever the Lord had to say. 

With a box of tissues at my feet I listened intently. They weren’t there because I was about to cry but rather to absorb the runoff of my constant sniffling. As I listened to the message the pressure in my head made it a bit more difficult to capture everything. I sat taking notes. God is Creator, Fearsome, Savior, Holy; many attributes listed and while the temptation is to add an etcetera at the end of that list it simply isn’t the case. Each of these attributes describes Him. I remembered reading that when we see Jesus (Matt 28:17) it leads us to worship Him. When we worship, we are called to train others everywhere to do the same—The Great Commission. As the preaching of the word ended numerous people throughout the room raised their hand to surrender to Jesus. What an exciting event to witness. In the middle of the prayer and praise response I paused and I recognized something. Despite recently applying for a new job I’ve not gotten any final confirmation. Growing anxious about my current job I was starting to get nervous. I know that since returning from Turkey God has called me back to the restaurant that I had opened in 2009 and I’ve been working there again for almost 18 months. I knew that He brought me back there because He had work to be done there; for some reason He wanted to use me. Up to this point, I had no specific direction that it was time to leave. I certainly want to, but despite the obstacles and issues I’ve encountered there He still has me there. But tonight I surrendered it to God; I said that if this other job didn’t open up as I’d been hoping that I would be willing to work there and continue to be the light in a place that only seems to be growing more dim. If he has me there to bring one person to meet Jesus and that doesn’t happen for another six months, or year, or however long, that’s okay, because that one person is worth any of the (illegal) woes I encounter from my employer. 

Surprised at my own prayer the service ended and I walked to my car. With my iPhone in hand preparing a text message my phone vibrated and an email notification rolled across the top of my screen. The manager who I’d interviewed with ten days ago just made contact. Immediately the preview displays, “First, let me apologize for the late…” my heart sank. After four interviews over a period of five weeks, followed by ten days of silence this was not what I wanted to hear. I finished the text message and opened the email. Standing under the night sky in the parking lot I brushed through the apology. Skimming the email there it was, “orientation pushed to March”, it could’ve been sung out by the stars from the sky above. "Yes, yes! Praise you God!" I shouted. A friend was standing nearby and shared the news. In sharing with her I realized that not more than ten minutes beforehand I was surrendering the entire situation and told God that whatever he had I was game for. He is so good, gracious, and merciful. Why does He give me such blessings? I certainly don’t deserve it; I’ve done nothing to earn it. But I will praise God for it! 

Psalm 96:3-4 “Tell of His glory among the nations, His wonderful deeds among the peoples, for great is the Lord and greatly to be praised; He is to be feared above all.”  

Saturday, February 15, 2014

Awareness, Intentionality, & Editing

The trouble with creativity is that it sits on your mind for a moment before it's gone. Like a match which burns brightly upon striking it quickly burns out if not applied. So we must give it some fuel, give it something to ignite and set ablaze. Creativity lasts but a few thoughts if the ideas aren't harnessed and expanded on. My creative energy hasn't been focused so much at writing for my blog lately. In fact, days after my last post in May of the past spring I moved into a new house. Since then, I've spent more mornings drinking home-brewed coffee or at the beach, which is now only a couple miles away on my bicycle--also new as of last summer. While my self study of French has been on hiatus I've taken more time to run, which included a personal best half marathon in Vancouver (1:31:07) last August. This fall I finally started a ministry academy of sorts and I had the opportunity to direct scenes for my church's Christmas production. Recently I had to make a most difficult decision and retracted a deposit that I had put down to begin yoga teacher training. Distraction is a dangerous beast.

I've said it before but I want to live the life that I truly want to live. Let me be clear; I'm saying I'm just going to do whatever my heart desires. It's about being intentional. While on a run yesterday I thought to myself, "What if the biggest hinderance to you reaching your goals wasn't there?" How differently would I live if I didn't think that money, relationships, or capabilities were holding me back? I've decided that I have to start living in a way that reflects what I actually believe. If I enjoy writing, running, and reading then I should make time to write, run, and read. This fall the Arts team at church said farewell as our leader and champion followed God's call somewhere else. But as he left, amidst the pain of saying goodbye, I realized I hadn't absorbed all I could from him while under his leadership. Thrust into leading while wrestling with my own doubts and fears of inadequacy I was forced to come to terms with reality. Watching TV and scrolling through pop culture news has not positively affected my effectiveness. So lately I've been quite resolved to give up things that waste my time so that I can use it for spiritual, physical, and creative productivity. 

A couple months ago I got a brown leather couch and placed it in my room. The couch is masculine, weathered, and comfortable. It went particularly well with my fresh natural theme of dark wood and green. I especially enjoying sharing wine or tea over a conversation so the seating was perfect--or so I thought. The only thing wrong was that I didn't have space in my room for the couch. Everything seemed cramped. So I had to get rid of it, I had to edit. Editing is tough because even if you have a good thing idea it might not serve the project well. This couch had to be edited. Making edits is something I'm trying to learn to do better in my life. Not all good things are necessary; this truth is both relevant to creative work and living life. What's great about having moved the couch out is that I took the time to design and build a desk, where I'm now seated, that matches my homemade headboard. By creating physical space I can now make mental space; I can pause to practice intentionality.