Awareness, Intentionality, & Editing

The trouble with creativity is that it sits on your mind for a moment before it's gone. Like a match which burns brightly upon striking it quickly burns out if not applied. So we must give it some fuel, give it something to ignite and set ablaze. Creativity lasts but a few thoughts if the ideas aren't harnessed and expanded on. My creative energy hasn't been focused so much at writing for my blog lately. In fact, days after my last post in May of the past spring I moved into a new house. Since then, I've spent more mornings drinking home-brewed coffee or at the beach, which is now only a couple miles away on my bicycle--also new as of last summer. While my self study of French has been on hiatus I've taken more time to run, which included a personal best half marathon in Vancouver (1:31:07) last August. This fall I finally started a ministry academy of sorts and I had the opportunity to direct scenes for my church's Christmas production. Recently I had to make a most difficult decision and retracted a deposit that I had put down to begin yoga teacher training. Distraction is a dangerous beast.

I've said it before but I want to live the life that I truly want to live. Let me be clear; I'm saying I'm just going to do whatever my heart desires. It's about being intentional. While on a run yesterday I thought to myself, "What if the biggest hinderance to you reaching your goals wasn't there?" How differently would I live if I didn't think that money, relationships, or capabilities were holding me back? I've decided that I have to start living in a way that reflects what I actually believe. If I enjoy writing, running, and reading then I should make time to write, run, and read. This fall the Arts team at church said farewell as our leader and champion followed God's call somewhere else. But as he left, amidst the pain of saying goodbye, I realized I hadn't absorbed all I could from him while under his leadership. Thrust into leading while wrestling with my own doubts and fears of inadequacy I was forced to come to terms with reality. Watching TV and scrolling through pop culture news has not positively affected my effectiveness. So lately I've been quite resolved to give up things that waste my time so that I can use it for spiritual, physical, and creative productivity. 

A couple months ago I got a brown leather couch and placed it in my room. The couch is masculine, weathered, and comfortable. It went particularly well with my fresh natural theme of dark wood and green. I especially enjoying sharing wine or tea over a conversation so the seating was perfect--or so I thought. The only thing wrong was that I didn't have space in my room for the couch. Everything seemed cramped. So I had to get rid of it, I had to edit. Editing is tough because even if you have a good thing idea it might not serve the project well. This couch had to be edited. Making edits is something I'm trying to learn to do better in my life. Not all good things are necessary; this truth is both relevant to creative work and living life. What's great about having moved the couch out is that I took the time to design and build a desk, where I'm now seated, that matches my homemade headboard. By creating physical space I can now make mental space; I can pause to practice intentionality.