Relationships

For better or worse, you have come across my first blog post. Most of the time endeavors like this don't last too long as the exuberance of sharing my deepest feelings with the world loses its allure when stifled by the reality that my process isn't of great significance to anyone but myself. But for whatever reason I've decided to make an effort to write more; maybe being away from my home I'll feel like I can still connect with everyone. Connection is one of our greatest needs as people. At least for me I find being genuine with others breeds more authenticity, whether in times of strength or brokenness, the vulnerability bonds us together. Of course, seeking to do that on the internet is misguiding as Facebook, Skype, and blogs can't fulfill like real relationships.

Relationships in "real life" tend to be a lot more risky. With the greater risk comes greater growth. The last week in training has brought up some issues for me personally. As we build our team and prepare for our departure, I have become increasing aware of the differences among us. Rather than focusing on our similarities I'm finding myself spending much of my energy on trying to get along with people. Most of the people at the TESOL training are like-minded enough that we mesh well. I've enjoyed playing a card game called SET or going out for a drink with various teachers headed to other locations. However, with my own team I don't see a lot of ways to bridge the gaps. Without getting into it, I'll say there is one person on my location team that always requires me to grow in patience when we talk, while the others, at best, are simply at different life stages.

When I left Orange County I was a part of an amazing church community that both embraces and fosters being a young creative who follows Jesus and submits to his word. I was surrounded by people who had similar passions and talents, people who had issues but still encouraged one another in prayer. Being at training has challenged me in a new way to see people for our similarities and not our differences. It's a challenge. Coupled with new relationships with fellow teachers that I'd like to see flourish yet and mixed with hopes to return to some people back in Newport Beach, my heart is torn.

Right now is not the time for me to say any more as I am desperately fighting sleep. Every blink carries my head down farther toward total blackout. I continue to attempt to be patient with those in my team, to grow and extend as much grace as I have been granted. I'll be back to share more later as I prepare for this grand adventure.