for God's purposes

Christmas parties are typically something people look forward to with gleeful anticipation. Maybe we look forward to the family time together in an old familiar house of a loved one, the good food prepared with great love and care, the joy in being reminded of Christ coming to earth, or perhaps the more commercialized idea of getting something; the point is, it's a party. But as Christmas approached I avoided RSVPing to our team celebration. I could have given excuses: the party was at 1pm on Monday the 26th--my only day off, I had a guest visiting, I held my own party for guys from church on the real Christmas, heck I had errands to run! But I knew that the real reason was that frankly I didn't want to be there. On Monday morning I woke after 11AM and by the time I sat down to breakfast it was closer to 1PM than to noon. So I decided that after I finished breakfast, I'd get ready, put on a warm sweater, and go over to the neighbor's for team time. I'm going to be honest; I did not want to go. I only went because I thought it would be better for team unity if I was there. Am I glad that I went? Absolutely. Did I have fun? That's really not relevant, but I did eat some very yummy iced shortbread cookies. What's important is that I'm trying to implement the things that Jesus said like, "love your brother if you claim to love me" and "give up yourself for the sake of others." I can definitely see why he said it was a narrow path.

This is where the rubber meets the road. At school my classes are still a challenge, but for some crazy reason I feel like the best thing to do is invest more of my time rather than pull out and give less than 100% at work. Similarly our team is struggling through some things, and it seems like the best thing to do for us is to spend more time together. This is not appealing. In America we have so many options. My peanut butter is always Skippy. My body wash is Old Spice Fresh scent and it has been for years. It's not that I'm a creature of habit, but I know what I want and I'm not going to settle for just anything. If Target is out of my body wash I'll go to CVS and pay another dollar to get what I want. The options continue in every area of our lives. Choose a dentist, an (insert ethnic food here) restaurant, a beach to swim and another to surf, or the next president; the options are endless. Until you live abroad and suddenly the options dwindle. Your body wash doesn't exist, good wine costs a fortune, and the shelves of options are reduced to a handful. If you've ever lived abroad you know what I mean. I'm not saying that it's a bad thing to have options. I'm grateful for the many choices and freedoms of selection that we have in the USA. In America people even have the option to choose what church they'll attend and who they will be with and sit next to when they worship God. When I sit here and think about that scenario it's mind blowing. Here I am living in Istanbul and I don't get to decide if I want to go to Vineyard, Calvary Chapel, or ROCKHARBOR. There is a small community of believers where I work and the ten of us meet each Tuesday because we are all we all we have.

We didn't go team hunting to see if we wanted to live here together. God made it happen and here we are. So many times I've learned that if I don't like a situation, a person, or a product I can simply walk away and go somewhere else to get what I want. While sometimes that is good and necessary there comes a point, as there has in my life, where one has to learn to suck it up and make it work because ultimately it's not about personal happiness or enjoyment, but it's about raising up a community to honor one--Christ. It's about being one unit, about being a body with each part serving it's purpose. What has been on my mind for the last couple of months is that before Jesus left he didn't tell us to pray for converts but rather to pray for workers to answer his call and bring in the harvest which is ready for reaping! So here we are, some of us who have responded, but it's not easy so my instinct is to walk away or distance myself from what I don't like. But all praise to the Lord who is making all things new! Against all practical sense and knowledge I think that the best thing for me to do is to spend more time together. I don't even want to, but I'm going to because I'm convinced that this is where God will mend us. As I run out of choices and succumb to the simple truth that we are on earth for the Lord's purposes and not our own, my superficial self-relient psyche suddenly submits and surrenders to the Savior.